Shawdanger

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January 26, 2012

fuck yeah sex education: Why the friendzone is bullshit and self-proclaimed "nice guys" are misogynists →

apostrophiee:

angels-and-angles:

As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest…

I met a Nice Guy on Reddit last night and urg. URG.

“Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”.

I highly agree with this statement, but as I was just reading a discussion about this on Reddit, I would amend it with some of what one person, Duchysleeps, wrote:

“Saying no, and stringing a person along for the sake of a mental safety net are not the same. At all.

Men friendzone women as well, it was never a female exclusive term. It’s about having zero respect for a person and purposefully ignoring their feelings. It’s more tolerable it the person is actually ignorant of their actions, but I’ve never found out a person had a crush on me, and was shocked by it.

That being said, yeah, calling a woman a slut is totally hypocritical and just spiteful. There are huge double standards at play when you compare the sexuality of men and women. Men are glorified for sexual conquest and women are, as you put it, vilified. I think most of that stems from the ideology of yesteryear, where a woman was only worth her weight as long as her chastity was intact. I’m sure, eventually, those weird social constructs will dissipate.”

The problem is with the all too many men who think a rejection and even a firm “no” constitutes stringing a man on. That’s a widespread definition that ultimately makes friendzoning bullshit. Even so, I would keep in mind Duchysleeps’ point of view and definition of friendzone rather than the heavily edited by 4-Chan, anonymous immature internet youth, and seldom reliable Urban Dictionary version of the phrase. I think friendzoning can be a legitimate concern in the grey areas of human relationships involving the courage of one party to reject and the ability of the other party to take that rejection and respect it.

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Except for the fact that you have a man hounding around for your attention. Why not do what any mature person should do...
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This. Forever AND EVER.
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